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But Did You Listen?

If you follow BFearless4U, you know that we are HUGE fans of everyone living their best life to the fullest without fear. Living your life to the fullest is more than extravagant vacations. There is a huge opportunity to live life to the fullest by being financially smart so you are not living check to check, continuing to date your spouse after marriage or taking stairs instead of the elevator to get that additional cardio in for the day. 


Here at BFearless4U, we also believe in being well-rounded in every aspect of your life. One topic that I would like to touch on today is relationships. More specifically, self-reflection when it comes to personal relationships (significant other). When a relationship ends, we as humans are guilty of always saying what the other person did wrong after the relationship is over but fail to speak on what we could have done differently. There are also times that many signs were there to tell us that this particular person was not for us OR that we were not for them but we didn’t listen.


In this blog I am going to discuss the signs that were there but we potentially ignored. Speaking from personal experience, I have been in a situation that should have ended 'looooooooooong' before it did but I ‘unintentionally’ ignored the signs.  Or……was it intentional? 


I say 'or was it intentional' because we can easily allow other peoples thoughts to influence decisions about our lives.  For example, if two people are in a relationship and there has been an act of infidelity, the cheater will apologize, beg for forgiveness and the use the 'guilt line' on you.....'But we have been together for so long. Let's work this out.' Your thoughts/feelings start to waiver no matter how angry you are. The cheater may also blame you on why they cheated.  Telling you that you do this or don't do that and you start to question yourself. PAUSE...….NEVER ALLOW ANYONE TO CHANGE YOU! Now, don't get me wrong, I am a huge believer in self reflection and continuous growth. But, you must recognize the signs of anyone trying to change who you are to benefit them in a relationship. This can cause you to loose yourself in the relationship and years later you (and potentially) others will not know who you are because of this 'change' to please someone.


To take it a step further, sometimes people set themselves up from the beginning without realizing it until the hurt sets in. Let's say 2 people meet and there is some form of instant chemistry.  But one person states from the beginning, 'We can kick it but I'm not looking for anything serious' and the other person says ok.  PAUSE...….IF KNOW YOU ARE SEEKING A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP, WALK AWAY NOW. I say this because, time goes on and feelings may progress to more than 'friend zone'. In the back of your mind you may think if you do certain things he/she will change their mind and fall for you. The set up is that you are not sharing the fact that you have developed feelings to understand if feelings have changed for the other person as well. Then this unwanted potential jealousy emerges because a mental relationship has been developed without the others consent. Being a realest and truly accepting what has been presented before you can prevent this type of pain and/or embarrassment in the future.


As you read this, please don't think that I am suggesting that you be suspicious of every little thing someone does while dating. I am looking at it from a standpoint of recognizing when the signs are clear and when to potentially walk away. In some situations, walking away is your personal 'BFearless4U' moment.